One wife … Is it Enough?
One wife … Is it Enough?
Yousef arrived on time, finding Michael waiting for him at their table. Surprisingly, he found that he had already ordered his drink to welcome him. Yousef greeted him and then sat down.
Michael: “I have ordered your favourite drink; tea with lemon. I guessed that’s what you always drink - your favourite.”
Yousef: “I accept your drink to welcome me. Though I really do prefer this drink, I do enjoy a variety of drinks and also a change, even to less preferred choices. I think this is human nature in general.”
Michael: “I may agree with you. But let's put this aside and start our topic. However, excuse me for interrupting, but… shall I order you another drink?”
Yousef: “No… No, thanks. You look as though you are all set for a discussion!”
Michael: “No, not to that extent. It's just that I don't want to waste any more time in discussing another unscheduled topic, as was the case last time.”
Yousef: “Well, go ahead then.”
Michael: “As I told you in the last meeting, I think that the subject I'd like to discuss with you is one about which I believe you will agree with me, though I know that the belief that opposes this point of view is widely spread in your communities.”
Yousef: “Great. I don't like disagreement, and my discussions with you are just to reach common grounds, or, at least, correct the understanding of both our points of view. So, what is the topic?”
Michael: “Being brief and concise, the topic is that I believe that marriage should be monogamous for both sides. In other words, I believe that the polygamy, that Islam allows, is a kind of oppression meted out towards the woman, don't you agree with me?!”
Yousef: “Which woman do you mean?”
Michael (in surprise): “The woman! The wife! Is there any other woman in this relationship?!”
Yousef: “As we previously agreed, to rightly discuss a topic it should be within a general framework in which all matters are arranged and all dimensions are considered.”
Michael: “Well, How can this affect our topic?”
Yousef: “It can affect it as when we discuss the polygamy, we should consider the woman’s interests, as the female sex; i.e. all women, and consider the society’s interests as a whole, and man’s interests, as well, and the differences between him and the woman.”
Michael (interrupting): “Here we come to the origin of the oppression that is meted out towards the woman in your community: the differences between the man and the woman! These so called differences are values set by the males in your eastern community, in order to exploit women and use her for your own enjoyment. What are these differences (that you referred to)? Why doesn't the woman have the right to marry more than one man? Isn't that evidence of the men's lust in this community?
Yousef: Wait... Wait… slow down, my friend.. You have thrown a fission bomb of questions at me which is prohibited in any conversation, and all of which I can't deal with at one time.. All of these will be discussed, but let's first break this bomb into pieces. Starting with what provokes you most: Don't you agree with me that there are differences between men and women?
Michael: What differences?
Yousef: For a start; the biological differences between the physical nature of women and men.
Michael: Of course there are biological differences, what does this have to do with our topic?
Yousef: I won't speak from a religious prospective, though I definitely believe in the necessity of accepting and admitting it (such a view), but I will speak from an intellectual and scientific prospective, which you have previously declared that you believe in. Look sir,
l recently conducted scientific studies that prove that the chemistry behind love in man differs from that in woman. This urged many scientific institutions to intensively research the emotional differences between men and women. Researchers discovered astonishing results which denotes that the male genes induce polygamous relationships, whereas the female genes induce stability and monogamous relationships. Modern-day science has already proved that man can love more than one woman, without affecting his love for any of them.
A CNN site cited on the authority of Lisa Diamond, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Utah, that there is biological evidence that plurality in sexual male relationships originates from the male physical structure.
A team of researchers from the British Oxford University denoted in a study in 2007 that women, on the contrary to men, are mainly interested in their bodies or their children, because of their abundance of the hormone oxytocin, which increases their attachment to their children.
New studies indicate that particular parts of men's brains grow to twice the size of that of women’s. Perhaps the greatest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a part which is responsible for sexual desire which is almost 2.5 times larger than that in women. Furthermore,
do you think, my friend, that these differences should not have an influence on reality?
Michael: If this information is true, then it will naturally have an effect.